The Madness of Hope + thankfulness

F for Not Fitting In

In High School I had a best friend named Cheri. During our Senior year a new girl named Michelle came into the picture. She sported new clothes, had perfect nails and had access to more money and influence than we did. That wasn't the problem, the issue was that Cheri liked Michelle better than me. At least that is how I felt.

Because Cheri liked Michelle, my emotions were clouded by hurt and jealousy and, therefore, our relationship took on a competitive nature. We both liked the same guy, or rather, we both pursued the same guy. First I got him and broke up with him after two weeks. Then Michelle got him, but it lasted two weeks and one day before she broke up with him. She even outdid me in that area. The poor guy didn't know if he was coming or going as he was just a pawn in our chess game.

Do you ever feel like you are back in High School? What is it about wanting to 'fit in' with the crowd: to be part of the 'in' group? I won't say how old I am but there were far too many candles on my cake this year for me to worry about how much other 'like' me and desire my presence.

Satan is on the prowl, searching for a break in the skin, an open pore through which to shoot his arrow. One arrow screams insignificance, “You will never be good enough. Others have more talent than you.” Another says, “You are different, you don't fit in, you will never be one of the popular girls.”

Why should my heart care? Why do I strive for excellence and acceptance? Why do his arrows manage to puncture the skin and pierce deep within my being?

God tells me that He delights in me, that He sings over me and finds joy in me: that I was created for His pleasure and that He is pleased with me, despite my failure to live up to His perfection and holiness.

If God were the team leader for the elementary kickball game, I would be one of the first chosen. If He voted for prom queen, I would get His vote. He chose before the beginning of the world to be His daughter.

So I say to Satan, "Get behind me with your lies and your attempts to make me feel like I don't fit in: telling me I am different and not as good as the others. Because I do fit in! In God's game of puzzle pieces there is a slot just my size and shape. And God carved that hole just for me to squeeze in to.

So today, I thank God that I DO fit in, that I hold a special piece in His game.

I DO fit in. I DO fit in!

HAPPY, HOPE, insecurity, and more:

F for Not Fitting In + thankfulness