Life, and God, can sometimes feel unfair and even cruel.
I have a friend who has gone through more pain in her life than most. To top that off, she deals with infertility, is in her early forties and has been praying for a baby for years. Finally she was blessed with a first time pregnancy and this baby was bathed in prayer, both before and after conception.
Yet, not long ago the baby was diagnosed without a heartbeat.
My sweet friend is dealing with more than she can bear with both the infertility and the grief. Why would God allow this overwhelming hope and blessing and then allow it to be taken away from her? She has backed off from many relationships for now, especially those groups marked by pregnant mothers and small children.
Many of her friends, unable to sympathize with infertility and miscarriage, have made her feel judged: that it is time to get back into life and put the pain and doubts behind her.
This morning, reading from Luke 7, I was reminded once again in Scripture, that it is OK to question God. In this story, John the Baptist was in prison and feared for his life. His mind knew Jesus was the Messiah but his heart, his feelings, and his emotions doubted.
He had been preaching that Jesus was the one who was sent to ‘bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners,’ (Isaiah 60:1-2 NIV). Yet why would not Jesus get him out of prison and save his life. It didn’t seem fair! His whole mission was to prepare the way for Jesus, and Jesus had left him in prison???
Yet, Jesus did not condemn John for doubting. Instead he sent word back to John that all that John had been foretelling was coming true through Jesus. He was the Messiah. Then he sent this message to John, “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.”
Jesus was saying, “I AM who I AM. It is alright to doubt. But do not let your doubts let you stumble. You can wrestle with me and you will not be destroyed. I love you. Just let your wrestling bring you back to ME!”
I know my friend is strong in her faith. She does not doubt God; she only wrestles with how He allowed things to happen. And, she will be stronger for this when she heals. I am thanking God today that He doesn't get angry with us for doubting. Rather, He keeps loving and guiding us back to Him.
Linked with Spiritual Sundays