I walk by, moving to the other side of the sidewalk. My heart is tearing inside but I don’t know what to do. We are crossing a bridge over a river that borders Thailand and Berma (now Miramar). We have been told not to give money and given the reasons. They all make sense in my mind but there is a conflict going on between my mind and my heart.
I hold back, zoom in from afar, and snap this photo as my husband walks by, his heart breaking and his eyes welling up. He has a huge heart and can hardly bare not to give. The children break him down and he quietly slips them a coin when he thinks no one is looking. But I see. For, there is tension in my heart as well. My mind is strong and I follow at a distance, my eyes drinking in the scenes that my camera cannot capture.
So, I hold my head up and walk by her as well, refusing to catch her eye. I cannot even speak her language to tell her I am sorry, to tell her……what could I tell her?
Last week, as I pulled in to the parking lot of Big Lots, I saw two homeless people on the street corner with two dogs in their shopping carts. I went out of my way to approach them. We talked about dogs. They love their dogs and I love mine. We found something in common. We laughed about the cute things they do and spoke of how much joy they bring our lives. They weren’t ‘homeless people’; they were just fellow dog lovers.
As I walked away, I thought, “Really, you talked about dogs?” When I came out of Big Lots, with dog food in my bag, they were gone. There was no opportunity to speak of more than our canine friends.
Yet, I tell myself, I didn’t just walk by them. I didn’t avoid their eyes.
My heart did not ache as it did on that bridge.