The Madness of Hope

Sex and Motherhood, My Mom and Heaven

I used to think my mom was a bit crazy and I didn't quite 'get' her. She continually verbalized her hope that Jesus would come soon so she could go to heaven.

I would think, "I don't want Jesus to come until after I have the chance to experience sex." Then I didn't want Him to come until I had a baby and experienced motherhood. There was always something to look forward to. Life was too fun to think of moving on to eternity quite yet.

I've changed now. The older I get the more appealing heaven sounds. Life is not as exciting as it used to be. There are hurts, disappointments, fears, worries and way too much stress.

Chris Tiegreen said, "This world is my passage, not my portion.” That is a comforting statement to keep in mind. I am glad I got to experience sex and motherhood and all that comes with life on earth but I am more and more grateful that there is more than this. One day we will spend an eternity praising God. And there will be no more pain, sorrow, death or sickness. Just an eternity of joy and Jesus.

I don't know what will happen in heaven. I hope there are animals and butterscotch cream pies. I hope there is an ocean full of waves and trails through the mountains to run on. I do know I will not worry about my children. My friends will not be dying of cancer. I won't have to clean my house and I won't get my feelings hurt.

I understand my mother a lot better now.