Returning to the United States, especially here to Southern California, brought a mixture of culture shock, the change of life (physically speaking) and a total change of identity. I went from being a stay at home mom to having one college student living at home. My life changed from being immersed in full time ministry on the mission field to struggling to find where I fit into to a mega church.
This change/lack of identity sent me into a couple years of struggling to keep from drowning in the deep waters. Sometimes the waters were so deep that there was no visibility and it was a matter of total trust that God would pull me through. I immersed myself in the Word, prayed over and over for God to show me what direction to move in, and strove to be faithful in the small things.
Then, “He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of the deep waters…..He brought me out into a spacious place. He rescued me because He delighted in me.” (Psalm 18:16, 19)
I feel like I am standing in ‘wide open spaces’ as my small world is opening up once again. Ministry opportunities are unfolding, some scary and intimidating. Most of all; the heaviness in my heart is being replaced with joy and a light heartedness. I’m not sure what the Lord has in store for me but at least I can see again.
Psalm 18;19 says, “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” That is because He is a God of grace, mercy and love, not because I am delightful. As a mother, I understand that! I praise God for his faithfulness and unfailing love.
I don’t know what the future holds; I just know I am standing in a wide open space. I can feel the sun on my face and the wind blowing through my back. The future once again feels promising.
(I chose this photo because 'the fields are wide unto harvest' and my heart is about ministry.)