The Madness of Hope

Ok, I admit it. I don’t want to move and I don’t want to pray for God to change my heart. I just want to pray that God will provide another opportunity where I will not have to leave my friends. That is pretty self-centered isn't it? Today I realized what a brat I was!
I want God to work on my terms. I mean: I think I've done my fair share of moving. I've actually moved on average every two years. One friend told me everything would be alright because I am the best gypsy she knows. But I”m tired of being a gypsy!
It all comes back to “I”.
My husband is buying a business an hour outside of Denver and it looks pretty certain at this point that the loan will go through. It is a fantastic opportunity and he feels certain this is what God wants.
Unfortunately he has a wife who doesn't want to leave her friends, nor her daughter who just entered college here near Los Angeles. Up until now I have not even prayed for God to change my heart. I have only prayed for the deal to fall through or for God to provide another opportunity.
So, today, after spending time with a friend at the beach and listening to her advice, I have committed to praying for my heart to be conformed to His. I pray that I will be willing to do whatever His will is for my life and to stop fighting, to stop being self-centered.
After all, when Jesus prayed, “Not My will but Yours be done,” He had so much more at stake than friends!