The Madness of Hope

Will I Still Raise My Palm Branch?

They waved their palm branches, singing,” Blessed is He who comes in the Name of the Lord.”

Their rejoicing was replaced by disappointment. He was not who they thought he was. The king was not to be crowned; rather he was sentenced to die. They felt disillusioned. They had followed him, leaving behind their nets, their tax business, and their families. They had poured out all their material wealth on his feet.

Their hearts were crushed. When all they had put their hope into had not materialized they turned their heads away. Anger bubbled in their hearts and the disappointment turned to bitterness.

Will I continue to wave my palm branches when my plans do not fall into place? When what I have poured my heart and soul into seems to be thrown back in my face, what will I do?

I loved two little boys with all my heart. They were prayed for before conception and taught God’s word from their date of birth. My goal in life, other than following Christ and waving my palm branch, was to raise these boys to love God.

Yet, they have turned their backs on Him. As little boys they waved their branches, but life has disappointed them and they turned the blame to God. They don’t’ believe God loves them. Twenty-one years of telling them about God’s love, of living it out before their eyes, has returned void. They are not waving their branches.

I guess I understand. For, it is difficult for me to wave my branch when I feel my life’s work and love and been in vain. I do not understand why God has not rewarded my work and my prayers. Why has he not answered my prayers?

My mind knows the answer: freewill. But my heart does not understand.

I still wave my branch, for He is my King and my Redeemer. He showers me with mercy and faithfulness.

But, when I wave my branch, it seems to be a little bit lower. My heart cries a little. I know my boy’s choices should not affect my praise.

So, I pray for more faith: to believe my boys will return to their Savior. I pray for a heart to praise Him regardless of any other situation.

And I pray they will return to their faith, and find it in their hearts to return to Jesus. I pray they will wave their branches once again.

I will not lower my branch. Sometimes, it is through tears and a crushed spirit that my arms lift in praise. I guess that is what it means when the bible says “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, Though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, Though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.
Habakkuk 3:17-19