The Madness of Hope

Culture Shock and Mid-Life Crisis

Once I went through culture shock. We had just moved to Changuinola, Panama: a town built around banana farm and isolated at the northeast corner of Panama. Our sole means of leaving were on the company plane that only seated seven people.
Life was different: I had only one friend that spoke English and she and I had little in common. Few others made an effort to get acquainted with me. I was lonely.
Everything frustrated me: the fact that I could not leave when I desired, the politics, the school, the crop dusters that sprayed pesticide on me as I ran and the lack of fresh food. We were the last stop for the food container and milk was often sour by the time it reached our little town.

I had met a missionary family in passing a few days earlier and needed someone to vent my emotions on. I didn’t have their phone number but knew they lived south on the only road going through town. So, I got on my bike and headed their direction. All I had to do to find them was to ask for the Gringos!
Upon arriving at their house, we began getting to know each other and I shared my frustrations. The man looked at me and said, “Shanda, you have culture shock!”
The clouds began to open immediately and rays of sunshine fell around me. Now that I knew what was wrong, I could work with it!
It wasn’t long before my life was brighter.
That leads to what is on my heart today. I have been feeling things totally new to me and it has been bringing me down. What is the meaning of my life? What does God want from me now my kids are moving on? Have I really accomplished anything so far? Is there a place for me to serve here in the States? Am I too old to be of use? Have I passed my prime and no one will hire me?
Then the clouds opened again and rays of sunshine fell around me.
I’m going through mid-life crisis.
I thought that was for men only but it is not. Now that I know what is wrong, I can work through it. It won’t be long before my life will be brighter. I'm sure you will hear more if this in future posts!
That’s what is on my heart today. What is on yours? Please link back to this blog so the community will grow. Link your post, and take a moment to read from your neighbors!