The Madness of Hope

What I Learned About Myself Today (July 4th)

I have celebrated many Independence Days in my life.

Flag of Zambia

Growing up in Zambia, we celebrated independence on October 24th. As school children we would march in parades and line the streets to welcome dignitaries. We sang ‘Stand and Sing of Zambia’, the national anthem. When I moved to Zambia, they had only been independent for four years so Independence Day was a big deal.

Flag of Zimbabwe

I remember when Zimbabwe gained their independence on April 18th, 1980. For the war for independence directly affected me as, living in Zambia, we lived with the freedom fighter camps in our backyard and had friends tortured and killed. My husband served in that war, but across the border from me. If you’d like to read of one experience, read an older post of mine titled The Touch.

Flag of Honduras

In Honduras, we celebrated on September 15th with fireworks and piñatas.

Flag of Panama

Panama celebrated their independence on November 28t. I remember when my boys were in third grade, and new to the small banana town, they had the best grades in the school and were therefore chosen to carry the school flag in the Independence Day celebration. It was a huge honor, one that we didn’t’ quite appreciate, but one that was cherished by many and begrudged by others.

Flag of Costa Rica

The five years we spent in Costa Rica, we acknowledge their Independence Day on September 15th. I can still remember the national anthem in my head.

Flag of United States

So, today, I am left wondering about loyalties and pride. I sit here at my computer while most are out eating hot dogs and preparing for fireworks. My kids do not want to go, for they do not quite feel ‘American’. And, as I ponder, I am feeling a little homesick and lost. I am homesick for a country for which I belong. Do not get me wrong: I love America and the freedom she represents. I stand indebted to those who fought to gain my freedom, and to those who serve today to keep that liberty. B ut I am a little lost in a sea of doubt as to where my home really is.

[The Christian Flag]

As a sojourner on this earth, I take comfort in the knowledge that I am not home yet. One day I will reach my heavenly home, the place I truly belong. There will be no singing of different national anthems, for we will all be worshpping the one true God. That will be home for every tribe and every nation. And we will all live in harmony and peace.

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